Nothing more, sometimes less.
Everybody’s all afraid of tigers and bears and scorpions and shit. Hell, half the sports teams in this country are named after big cats. But I just got one question to all you motherfuckers out there who wanna strike fear into the hearts of their enemies: WHAT ABOUT OWLS, BIIIIIITCHESSSS?
Owls are dangerous as shit and scary as fuck. Don’t believe me? Just take a look at these facts about owls:
1.) OWLS CAN FLY
You ever hear of air superiority, bitch? Yeah, that’s what I thought. Let’s see a tiger FLY UP IN THE AIR LIKE A BIRD. Well, that’s exactly what owls do, sugarsnap. They spend most of their time JUST MAD CHILLIN up in the air just. like. birds. In fact: OWLS ARE BIRDS, SHITFACE. Boom!!!! Checkmate, motherfucker!!!!! AND THAT’S JUST FACT NUMBER ONE.
2.) OWLS SWALLOW THEIR PREY WHOLE
Have you ever seen an animal swallow something whole? IT’S FUCKING HORRIFYING AS FUCK. I had a girlfriend once who didn’t really chew her food and it was DISGUSTING and REALLY GROSS but also SUPER SCARY. She ended up cheating on me with a guy named Terry so whatever fuck that bitch.